Friendships...

It took me til year 8-9 to be able to make a solid couple of friends. There has been so many times after then that I'd make new friends and I feel like maybe they could last for a long time then as usual something happens and I end up being hurt.
One group was great we hung out every possible day through high school and then it all changed, I started hanging out with a new group of ppl not leaving the old friends out and one got really jealous an she attempted (only for attention) to cut her wrist so I would feel guilted back to only hanging with her and our other friend.
Her exact words were if you won't just be our friend I'll kill myself.... Not much of a friend to do that I feel!! I lost it at her and told her to do whatever the fuck she wants etc...
This fight caused her to take my other friend off me and I was back to the search for friends again. Yay!
I left school at 16 and actually had no friends but a girl I had known for a long time but never hung out and I started hanging out this lasted a year 'ish' she and her friends were right into drugs which I was not new to but never as much as they were. The friendship ended and I was left hurt again...

So now 17 and no friends I hung out with older ppl and would watch their kids at night so they could go out... Felt used after a while and when I hit 18 I stopped seeing them.

I ended up just hanging with my sister and her friends (much to her dismay) and this was how I met my husband!! Never had a falling out with my sis or her friends so that was good! I actually became close with one girl who is still friends with me today at 28 (we have had ALOT of ups n downs) she also happens to be my husbands cousin :)

Through the last 10 years I've managed to make three great friends that have not shit in my face so to speak!!
There have been many through this time and that have done just that they've not only used me but would continuously lie to ppl about me and basically treat me like shit!

I don't find making friends easy at all and I find that I never really find the trust worthy ones either!!

On the upside I am moving at the end of the year and will not have to see or associate any of the ppl that have hurt me over the years anymore!! I will be starting fresh and I am hoping I can finally make some friends that are good people and that I can have for a very long time!